my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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