im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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