There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
