I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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