Screwed.edu
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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