I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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