I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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