i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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