I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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