the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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