drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
