Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
