i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize