No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
