afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What drink are we having for lunch?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
