i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
