Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Apparently you make a good broom.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
