I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
