she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize