i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
