You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
