Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
