Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
