I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
