Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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