does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
