she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize