Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
