Do you still have your period?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
