when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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