I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I skipped work to stalk him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
