Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
