Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
even my farts smell like vagina
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
