Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
