I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
