He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
