Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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