you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
