He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
