So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
