Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
