I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
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