Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
