i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
