booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dick very happy bro
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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