No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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