TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize