ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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