At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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