if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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