so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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