I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
