Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
