Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
