If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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