it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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