blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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