two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
